Thursday, March 3, 2011

I'll get plenty of sleep when I'm dead

This seems to be a popular topic, this thing called sleep.  For some reason, sleep has been very evasive for me lately.  The other day, I went for over 40 hours without sleep.  I caught an hour nap while the family was watching a movie.  Amazingly enough, it was quite refreshing and I was ready to go for another several hours.

My husband has been home for R&R and I was looking forward to a couple of restful weeks with my husband and kids.  While I am very much enjoying my time with my family sleep has been very evasive.  Perhaps it is the change of environment and schedule.  Although neither the environment and schedule is really much different.  While he is home, we are staying with his Mom.  When we got married, we were not living together.  Neither of us felt it was proper to live together before we were married, with both of us having family and a deployment in the near future.

Staying in my parents in law apartment has been a godsend.  We retained support of my parents and that has been invaluable.  However, not having our 'own' place can be a pain in the butt.  My daughter and I are settled in the in law apartment and his kids and Mom are an hour away.  It makes weekend visits trying at times.  There is not a whole lot of room at the in law apartment for four kids.  Then that is four hours of driving to get them, get back, bring them home, get back.  So, in an effort to conserve gas and my sanity, my mother in law has been very gracious to let us all stay with her on the weekends and visit.  Win win, for us both, as she enjoys the company and seeing her grandkids.

So while he is home, we are staying here.  It's great for the kids, there is plenty of room to play, go outside and enjoy each other.   The property is large enough and the dog is well behaved enough to let her go outside and so her business and play with the kids.  Some of our stuff is here, some of it is in the in-law apartment and some more still is in our storage bin.  I am really looking forward to when he comes home and we can get settled for real.  In our own home, our own place.  That was one of the downfalls to him leaving so soon after we got wed... no time to get settled in our own place.

So this week, despite having slept here the majority of weekends since he and I started dating, I cannot sleep.  I've been having the hardest time.  The first night, maybe a couple hours.  The second night, after about 2am, I got up and took something.  The third night, I got some choppy sleep.  Yesterday and the day before, I went for over 40 hours without more than an hours sleep.  I got one short cat nap about an hour long.  And the oddest part is... I was fine.  Tired, sure.  But wide awake.  Ahh... insomnia, how I have not missed you at all.

Perhaps it's just having him around that makes the difference and triggers my on again, off again insomnia.  This is not the week/time frame that I would like to have insomnia again.  I am supposed to be getting rested, enjoying him and our family.  Not wrestling with sleep.  Story of my life... things happen at the least inopportune times in my life.

Soon enough, he will be gone again and a new countdown to Home Coming will ensue.  I'll start watching my phone like a hawk.. it's been nice not staring at the phone all day long waiting for a text or a phone call.  Some wives get a phone call from their husband and make the decision if they are going to answer or not.  I get a phone call from my husband once he goes back and if I miss it... I miss it.  There is no calling him back.  I am already dreading returning to this lifestyle.

Once he comes back, we have a lot to do.  Get settled in our home, which entails packing, moving, financial stuff... All stuff that is not fun, but at the same time, I cannot wait.

This is the first vacation I've had in a decade.  Someone asked the kids what we were doing this vacation.  Going to Florida?  California?  Neither, I replied.  My husband was home, I told him and we were just going to enjoy being a family.  So I am off to go enjoy my family and my husband while he is still home.

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