Live in the now

At some point during this deployment, my husband will come home for two week of leave, or R&R as it is commonly called.  Personally, I think R&R is misleading.  When he comes home, his life is going to be jam packed.  We have kids, parents, finances, doctors and all sorts of other things that need his attention.   A marriage cannot survive long term without both team players.

I am, on one hand, incredibly excited to see my husband.  Just to hold his hand or wake up to him in the morning.  Recently, I told him this and he commented; "It's the simplest things we look forward to. Isn't it? The longer we're apart, the more simplistic our longings become. Miss you Baby!"

It was a perfect response to my query and it is all too true.  Absence makes the heart grow fonder and in turn, the heart begins to long for the simple things in life.  A little reminder for a later time when I'll need a reminder of these times and remember to savor the little things, because those are what really matters in life.

On the other hand, I am dreading having to say goodbye again.  I don't want to, and it's hard.  I expressed this to a friend recently and their advice was memorable and a gentle reminder.  Live in the now.   That's all she said, and I translated it to the following;  While he is home, live in the now and don't be so consumed with a Goodbye again, that it ruins his stay.   If that's what she meant or not, remains unknown.  What matters is what I choose to do with it.

I will be ever mindful of the here and now when my husband comes home.  The feel of my hand in his larger one.  How his mouth creases when he smiles.  The twinkle in his eye when he pokes fun at me.  Instead of thinking, "Man, it's gonna suck when he is gone again and I won't be able to hold his hand again." I'll think in the moment, feel the weight of his hand and be thrilled that he is even that close to me.

So when I get ready to pick him up, (gotta get extra dolled up, so I live up to his memories) I'll recite that to myself.

Live in the now.  Powerful words, if you give them a chance.