Waiting for the Phone

When you are an Army Wife to a Deployed soldier lots of things about your life change.  For me, one of the most prominent is my relationship to my phone.  Since my husband left some odd months ago, My hand appears to have acquired an interesting growth in the shape of a BlackBerry smart phone.

Receiving word from him has become a life line, especially this being the first year of our marriage.  The red light blinks, I rush to see what it is.  A text, email or BBM.  The tell tail chime of the Black Berry Messenger sounds off and my hand is already scrolling to see what news/message he is sending.  Even my Boss has become incredibly tolerant to my random texting during otherwise inappropriate moments in the work place, because she knows it might be the only time I hear from him that day.  Earlier today, I missed BBMing him by 27 minutes because I put the phone down to get my daughter to bed and didn't hear the chime over the din of the house.  I was upset I missed the chance to BBM him, but alas, moms really don't have as many hands as we're famed to have.

My husband loves his phone.  He used it all the time.  To call me, text me, send me a picture.   It got to the point during our courtship, I had to set limits on when and how long it was productive to be on the phone.  I felt immensely guilty for not wanting to talk during my entire commute to work, because I needed some alone time.  Now, looking back, I'd give anything to hear 'too much' from him.   I knew I'd feel that way in the coming months, but at the time, I could not help it.

This is not particularly how I envisioned the first year of marriage to the love of my life.  Shortly after we wed, I helped him pack up... not for a honeymoon, but for war.  I shop at the store for him, but not for daily things. Things he can use in the Sandbox, snacks that won't perish during the time spent in the care packages I send. I keep him a part of my every day life as much as possible.  We won't start our life 'together' until he returns home.  I only pray he returns much the same as he left.