Monday, January 3, 2011

Navigating the Airwaves

Recently there have been some important issues that my husband and I need to talk about.  We both have Blackberries, so we can BBM, but it's just not the same.  That's one of the big obstacles during a deployment.  Life still goes on, finances still have to be dealt with, there are still kids to bring up and somewhere in all of that, we have our brand new marriage to develop and grow.

Text messenging has been a life saver for this deployment.  He texts me good morning most of the time when he knows it's around the time that I wake up.  He sometimes says good night to be when he is heading down for the night. We send little kisses, hug and flirts to each other and that's very comforting during days that otherwise I would feel very alone.  

However, it pales terribly in comparison to real communication.  Be it the phone or in person, texting just doesn't come close.  The subtle nuances are lost that are typically conveyed with intonation, posture and inflection.   It's very hard to maintain life when communication is so limited.  I know, I hear it from people, I should be thankful, because 10 years ago it would have been different.  Cell phones were not as abundant and I would not have nearly what I have now with the communication.  That type of view does not really get me far.  To think that I may have had less communication with him doesn't help and of course I am grateful.  

Deployment is hard and having someone that is an integral part of your life ripped away for a year+, it's very hard to deal with.  The first year of marriage is hard enough, never mind trying to navigate the first year of marriage without the crucial other half.  Sometimes I think I text him too much, I don't want to overwhelm him with the day to day details of life, but on the other hand... isn't that what encompasses part of marriage?  So far he doesn't seem to mind, although I worry I am causing him to worry more than is necessary... And so on and so on.  I don't know how else to be married, though.  I'm fairly certain that he doesn't mind and he has said it helps him feel more connected to home.  

What I want most from all this is to come out the other end of this deployment with a stronger and more resilient marriage than when we started.  Now if the other end of this deployment would just hurry up and get here...

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